Be popular with God to make a true friend

By Laurie Toupin
December 07, 2002

My fourth-grade neighbor was born under her own star. She often mixes stripes and polka dots together with snow boots on a warm summer day. She doesn’t believe in combs or hairbrushes. And she holds together her thick eyeglasses by Scotch tape and bent wires. She is always carefree, happy, and caring.

But throughout this past school year, I’ve seen her go through a not-so-subtle change. Lately, her clothes actually match. She started wearing hair bands to tame her thick tresses. And just last week, she mentioned she was thinking of getting contacts.

“Why?” I asked.

“Because I want to be popular,” was the response. My little neighbor was tired of being laughed at and being made fun of. Being born under her own star was getting lonely.

Every afternoon she comes over after school. Since I work at home, I always look forward to her visits. Her delightful individualism always makes me smile.

But today my heart went out to her. How well I remember being in that same position only in a few grades older.

“It’s all part of growing up,” I’ve heard people say. But does it have to be?

Even adults sometimes struggle with the feeling of being “different,” either because of religion, skin color or economic situation.

How can we help our children? How can we help our peers? Or even ourselves?

Perhaps first by being more loving. Jesus never saw anyone as less than a child of God. The Bible tells us he ate with the sinners.

For this and many of his actions, the Pharisees and Sadducees – the rulers of his day and his peers – ridiculed Jesus. They constantly teased him about being different, but he didn’t care.

He knew he was the precious child of God. And that was enough for him. He knew God loved him and that meant more to him than comments made by any person.

The Bible also tells us that we – every one of us – are loved by God. If we are so loved and cared for, who else’s approval do we need?

Maybe we can help our children know that God loves and cares for them just as they are, so they can feel good about being themselves.

No one has to conform to be popular. Jesus – perhaps the most popular person of all history – certainly did not.

Mary Baker Eddy, author of Science and Health, writes, “Take away wealth, fame, and social organizations, which weigh not one jot in the balance of God, and we get clearer views of Principle. Break up cliques, level wealth with honesty, let worth be judged according to wisdom, and we get better views of humanity.” (Pg. 239:5)

If we are popular with God, who else do we need?

Laurie Toupin is a member of First Church Christ, Scientist, and serves on the board of directors of the Nashua Area Interfaith Council as a delegate at large.